How parents can help tackle bullying in education
We all deserve to be treated with dignity and
respect
Respect means showing someone you think about someone's feelings, wishes or
rights
Rights are the things everyone should be allowed to do like have a say, or go to school.
.
. And we all have a part to play in working together to move beyond bullying - parents, carers, teachers, students, managers, employees and the
community
A community is the people and places in an area.
.
First of all, teachers, parents and carers should become role models, encouraging young people to treat others fairly, and model positive behaviour.
As a role model, there are various tips you can follow to help prevent and stop bullying in schools...
Understanding bullying
Many people with a
learning disability
A learning disability is to do with the way someone's brain works. It makes it harder for someone to learn, understand or do things.
find it hard to understand what bullying is or if it is happening to them.
Talk about bullying
Finding someone who will listen and give them the right support can be a challenge, and this in turn can seriously damage a childs self-esteem. It is important that they are listened to.
Proactively talking about bullying is a great way to tackle bullying behaviour, because you might be able to stop it early on or prevent it altogether.
Talk to your child about bullying so that they know what it is and they can feel comfortable telling you about any
experience
Experience is when you have learned or tried something before.
that could be bullying.
You can also help them be more prepared if they experience bullying behaviour so that they can respond in the best way and try to stop it early.
How to talk about bullying
We all show our feelings differently, and there are many ways we can communicate if we are being bullied.
How to talk about bullying with someone with communication difficulties
If your child has difficulty communicating, you can encourage them to explore different ways of letting you know you how they feel:
- Writing it down in a letter to you.
- Using toys or teddies to re-enact experiences they've had.
- Drawing what has happened to them.
- Pointing to an emotion chart or using emotion flash cards. Your child can point to a smiley face, a sad face, an angry face or other visuals that help show how they are feeling.
You can make these, download them, or buy them online.
Understanding your feelings when your child is being bullied
Hearing that someone you love and care for is being bullied is very hard to hear.
You might be upset or angry, but it’s important to stay calm and listen to the full story.
Five steps to take if you hear your child is being bullied
- Talk openly about bullying so your child knows how to recognise it and that they can trust you and talk to you about their feelings. People don’t want to make their parents feel angry or sad - if they think you will respond like this, they might not talk to you about their bullying experiences.
- Respond calmly and with empathy - listen, offer a hug and ask them how this made them feel.
- Find out the details, and calmly reassure them that it’s not their fault and they did the right thing speaking to you about it.
- Be sympathetic and ask questions to get details. You can write down what has happened, the dates and times, places where the bullying took place, and if anyone else was around to see it. These details are important, because they will help you explain what has happened to a teacher and take steps to resolve the issue.
- Talk through the situation and help them form a plan of what to do next - empower them to take control and feel safe.
Working with the school to resolve a case of bullying
If your child has told you that they are being bullied at school, there are some steps you can take to resolve the issue:
- Talk to the bully: If your child feels that they can talk to the bully and ask them to stop, that is the first place to start. If they feel uncomfortable or unable to do so, speak to their teacher.
- Talk to a teacher: Your child may prefer to talk to their teacher themselves, or they may prefer you to talk to their teacher for them. Make sure you keep talking to your child for updates about how the situation is being dealt with. If you speak to their teacher, stay calm and polite, and explain the details of the situation. The teacher should listen and deal with the situation sensitively.
If the teacher doesn't take it seriously: It can be frustrating when you speak to the school about a bullying incident and they don't take it seriously or take steps to resolve the issue. Schools should have an anti-bullying policy. Find out what it is and have a calm conversation with them to make sure that they are following their own policy. - Write a diary: write down dates, times, any witnesses, who is
involved
Involved is being included in something or taking part in something.
and other details that can help you record what is happening and convince the school to act on it. - Find support from your local council: Many communities provide local resources to help tackle bullying. The more we become aware of bullying at school, the more likely they’ll take steps to tackle it. Your local council
website
A website is a page you can go to on the internet like Google or YouTube.
should have information about anti-bullying schemes. - If the bullying continues or you think it is harassment, you can report the
abuse
Abuse is when someone bullies you and does or says something to you that makes you feel hurt, upset or scared.
to the police. See our page on mate and hate crime.
How to improve your school’s response to bullying
- Share with the school the government's guidance on tackling and preventing bullying.
- Ask your teacher to arrange for a professional speaker to talk to the whole school about bullying.
- Report ineffective school response to bullying to a local newspaper. School administrators will be quick to change their attitudes if they think they might look bad in the news.
- Write to the school chair of governors.
How to support your child after the bullying ends
It is important to get the right support to stop the bullying behaviour and then to manage any lasting effects of the bullying if needed.
- Focus on looking after the person who has been bullied.
- If things don’t improve, see if a friend, family member or counsellor can offer the right support. You may need support as well as your child, so finding someone you can talk to is also important.
- If the person you support is anxious or depressed take them to see a doctor and get professional support for them.
- Try to be proactive and keep busy, focusing on positive activities like making things and seeing friends.
- Have patience - it can take time for someone to process what they have been through, get their confidence back and be around people again. Childline have tips for parents about how to build confidence.
More information about bullying
By Mencap
Ismail Kaji
Need to talk to someone?
Our free helpline service offers advice and support for people with a learning disability, and their families and carers.