To me, Pride Month means having more freedom to express myself and being with the community A community is the people and places in an area. . Pride shows how much we’ve fought for the freedom that we have right now in today’s society for the LGBTQ+ community. I don’t have to hide who I am. I love that everyone goes to it because it opens people up - they are more friendly, and it helps people be more understanding. It allows you to be more yourself in day-to-day life.
Finding a connection and facing exclusion
The
gay
Gay means a man who fancies other men, or a woman who fancies other women.
community can sometimes make me feel excluded. It can be harder to make friends with people; sometimes people think you’re hitting on them when you just want to be friends. It can also be very judgey. There is a lot of pressure to have a good body, go to the gym, and look a
certain
Certain means you are sure about something.
way.
I used to be in an LGBTQ+ neurodiversity group, but it had to shut down because people were too nervous to come because of their disability. It’s a huge shame because that group made me feel really included, and I even made a best friend from it who I go on gay nights out with a lot. I was really nervous to go at first, but I’m so glad I did.
Right now, I actually feel more included in social media groups for gay people than I do in real life because there is a wider variety of different people on there. In fact, I’m going to a picnic through one of those groups this Sunday.
Navigating the dating scene
Because of my learning disability A learning disability is to do with the way someone's brain works. It makes it harder for someone to learn, understand or do things. , I find it hard to know what to say to people when we match on apps, and I struggle with how to carry on a conversation. Sometimes people tell me the conversation isn’t going anywhere, and we stop talking. On text, I often don’t know what to say, but in person I’m completely different. Maybe when I am messaging someone on a dating app, I’m not catching what they say properly, or I’m not saying enough to them. I'm definitely better in person than when I’m texting. I do get ghosted, but I’m always talking to people and looking for a date—if anyone reading this wants my number, let me know, lol!
I have been going to some gay dating events, but I get nervous just walking up to people. I prefer the events where you’re seated and have to move tables because I never know how to strike up a conversation otherwise.
When I'm dating, I do tell people that I have a learning disability and neurodiversity, usually on the first or second date, or over text beforehand. One person didn’t say much about it, and another asked for more information but said they were totally fine with it.
What needs to change
I want the community to be more open and less judging. People need to be more open-minded, and lots of my gay friends agree. I actually got blocked from Tinder recently and I don’t know why—maybe because I sent too many messages. I told them that I have a learning disability, but they didn’t unblock me or even respond back. The apps really need to be more mindful of that.
There should be more events specifically for LGBTQ+ neurodiverse people and people with learning disabilities. Dating events should be designed to make things easier for us. Having sit-down formats with prompt questions or playing board games is great because it takes away the pressure of having to constantly go up to people and chat. One day, I’d love to set up my own events like that.
Joy and confidence
At the end of the day, I like being myself and not caring what anyone thinks. I like being in the gay community—there are so many fun events, the nights out are welcoming, the music is great, and I love drag queens. The friends I’ve made in the community have truly made me feel more confident in who I am.