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#NotOkCupid: Katy & Vince

14 February 2017

Hear Katy & Vince talk about dating as well as OkCupid's offensive question 

Katy Vince

Relationship status: Dating

Hear Katy & Vince talk about dating as well as OkCupid's offensive question 

Vince: Katy and I met at a Mencap Employ Me course. I noticed Katy in the group and took a liking to her, but I was a bit shy. So I told one of the people on the course how I felt, then she gave Katy my number.

Katy: I could tell that Vince had noticed me and I was also interested in him. The way that he looked at me just set the spark.

V: I think that in a relationship it has to be 50:50, you have to trust the person that you're with at all times but also be able to have fun. You shouldn't feel constricted. Even if you have a learning disability, that doesn't really even have to come into it, as long as there's trust and you're having fun.

K: I agree – disability regardless – it doesn't matter. Vince is a much better boyfriend than my previous partner; that wasn't a very fulfilling relationship.

V: I think some blokes think that they have to act "macho". But I don't mind watching a chick-flick with some popcorn with Katy. Or if there's washing up to do, I'll do it! I'm definitely a new age kind of man, not stuck in the past.

K: Vince tries to do things that I like, so if there's something that I really want to do he'll try and do it with me. He's a very different type of partner to have.

V: Katy likes Call the Midwife, so I watch that with her. We also have things in common, like we're both fans Manchester United fans. But even if she was a Manchester City fan it wouldn't matter - as long as she doesn't support Tottenham or Liverpool!

The advice I'd give to someone with a learning disability who's looking to start dating is take it slow, get to know the person you're seeing, find out their likes and dislikes and what you both enjoy. You don't need to rush into anything. I'd also say, don't try and hide your disability, just be who you are.
- Vince

K: I agree. The worst thing that can happen is that you'll be rejected by someone, but if you don't go for it, you'll never know what could have been.

V: I also think that people with a learning disability can have sex, if they choose to.

K: Yeah, go for it!

Response to OkCupid's question: 'Would the world be a better place if people with low IQs were not allowed to reproduce?'

V: I feel disgusted. A person with a low IQ or learning disability is still a living human being, and if they want to have a relationship or children then they can.

I think that question is very discriminatory, it shouldn't be on the website. A relationship is a human right; everyone is entitled to have a relationship, a person with a learning disability might just need a little bit more help.
- Katy

V: I think OkCupid should remove that question from their website, because they're discriminating against people with a learning disability.

K: I don't think they're being very considerate of people's feelings. I'd tell them where to shove it!

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