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#NotOkCupid: Kate

14 February 2017

Hear Kate's experiences of dating and relationships, as well as her thoughts on OkCupid's offensive question

Kate Brackley

Relationship status: Looking for love

My perfect boyfriend would be someone who treats me well, understands that I work full time, and is someone I can relax with when I come home from work. I'd like us to plan our days off together and be able to talk and listen to each other.

I'm looking for someone who of a similar age to me and who knows how to have a good time. I've not found the perfect boyfriend yet; he might be out there but I haven't been able to nail him down!

I've tried a couple of dating websites, I was honest and open about my learning disability and a lot of strangers wanted to meet me. I did get a few strange requests and some people were very rude and unpleasant which I found intimidating. I also did some training around dating sites and was told not to meet up with someone who is a complete stranger.

I've also been on the TV programme The Undateables twice, which was an amazing experience. The first time I went on the programme it was absolutely out of this world, I got to feel what it's like to be a celebrity and it was awesome! There were people screaming my name and asking for autographs; they wanted to know a lot about me and it was really exciting.

Being on The Undateables gave me so much confidence with dating. I've had a couple of relationships, one from the show which lasted 2 years and went really well, I really liked him at the time, then the other came from the success of the first relationship. Again, he was really nice and were together for 2 years. 

Through the success of The Undateables and from working at the British Institute of Learning  Disability (BILD) I also went on to speak at learning disability conferences, which was really good.

Relationships are important to me, it's part of who I am; I love people to pieces. I like knowing that there is someone out there who can fulfil that little gap in my life and my heart. I'm hoping that I will find somebody that can be the perfect guy for me. I would love to get married one day and I would love to have a kid. Having a disability myself, it would be harder, but I still want to give it a shot. I don't care what my baby would look like, or the problems they may face, I'd still love them as my own and I would love to have that opportunity.

If I was to give some advice to someone who wants to have a relationship I would tell them to bite the bullet and go for it. Even if it doesn't last, you can always build up your confidence and try again. That's exactly what I've done and other people can do the same. You can have a better life for yourself; you can have someone to love and cherish and be there for when times are hard. Anyone can have a relationship, it's really important for me to get that message out there.

Response to OkCupid's question: 'Would the world be a better place if people with low IQs were not allowed to reproduce?'

That's not right at all. We should be allowed to reproduce. I feel quite upset even answering the question and I'm sure other people who see it will feel upset too.

I want to say to OkCupid that that question should be taken off. I think anyone can have children, even people with a learning disability, with the right support.

Everyone should have the power to choose what they want to do with their life.

Find out more about #NotOkCupid on our webpage.