By Mencap
This month is all about love and some people tend to think that just because someone has a
learning disability
A learning disability is to do with the way someone's brain works. It makes it harder for someone to learn, understand or do things.
they can’t find love - we can!
I have been in a relationship with Josh since I was 14, we went to school together and were in the same class. He was my rock growing up, and he still is my rock. I am going to be 25 this year and we are still together.
People with a learning disability want the same thing from
relationships
Relationships are about the people in your life. You might have different types of relationships like friendships, family relationships, or a boyfriend or girlfriend.
as everyone else. Kissing and cuddling is so important as that’s how you build a connection with your partner. I do wish that I’d been taught more about sex and relationships at school. I went to a special school, and they do things differently to mainstream schools, I think the
education
Education is when you learn things. When you fill in a form to get a job, education means you write where you went to school, college or university.
system is unfair. If anything, I think there should be more training for people like me as we can be vulnerable to risks with things like online dating.
I think it can be hard to date when you have a learning disability. In my case it has been easier for me to find someone like myself. I’ve always felt safe to say whatever I want and ask him for any support I may need. It’s worked well for me, as we can understand each other’s needs, and our families are also understanding.
We grew up together and shared all those first nervous and scary experiences teenagers go through, like the big change from school to college I was lucky enough to go though it with my boyfriend and we both supported each other through the changes. Josh is my best friend.
Sometimes people have pity towards me and Josh and it’s a bit patronising. A couple of times people have said things like “how does that work, do you not go out, do you and your partner not do things together?” and I had to explain that we’re just a normal couple... We just have a bit extra on the side!
Josh and I love going on dates. When we were younger, we used to go ice skating together as that’s something we both love. These days we like a dinner date. Our favourites are Honest Burger, The Breakfast Club and Nando's. My go to Nando’s order is chicken wings, lemon and herb of course! Josh used to get ‘plainish’ which was so embarrassing but now he is brave and gets lemon and herb too!
I’d also really love to go on a date to Friends Fest - but Josh isn’t a Friends fan! - or maybe go to Madame Tussauds and take a selfie with Leonardo Di Caprio.
I also wish there was more representation of people like me in movies and TV shows. Growing up I didn’t have any role models with a learning disability in the media and I think it would have made me feel excited for my future if I had seen people with a learning disability in love in mainstream media, not just on shows like The Undateables.
- Natalie