It's also amazing how just one thing can go wrong and that human beings future can change beyond understanding. My daughters' future was determined at the point of conception, an extra chromosome dictating her life pattern and path.
I often reflect on what happened to my baby whilst she grew in my womb. Did I do anything to harm her development? Had anything ever happened to me that would affect any children I might have? No one can definitively say whose "fault" my daughter disability was and I guess that it would be futile to play the "blame game". It isn't an illness or an accident of birth. It is who she is! Every cell in her body affected by the Trisomy 21! I do remember one awful, dreadful day, when out of the blue I realised that my little girl wasn't going to get better. I don't know what triggered it off but it just hit me. She was about eighteen months old and such a delightful toddler. I thought that I had truly come to terms with her disability, but deep down I think that I had told myself that if I worked really hard with her and gave her all the early intervention I could, she could be cured. I had made the mistake of trying to "normalise" her and had confused the reality that she would always have Down's Syndrome with the fact that we could help her achieve her full potential by giving her all the support and encouragement we could.
As I held my newborn Grandson in my arms for the first time I suddenly felt overwhelmed by all these feelings again. This tiny little scrap of a thing, not yet a day old but yet still older than Hayley was when she had surgery. Had I really been fooling myself all these years? Had I really mourned for the baby I thought I had been carrying? I guess I had, but in all the years since I first held Hayley in my arms this was the closest I had been to any baby in terms of relationship.
Truly all life is miraculous, every child precious, and no matter how difficult life is I will always protect and defend the right for my daughter to have the best life she can!