I am 79 years old, and I care for my daughter, who is 40, at home. We adopted her when she was 2 years old. We knew she had a learning disability at the time, but not the extent of it - this only became apparent as time went on. We were offered no support after the adoption and her school was unsupportive. We felt very alone.
In the past our daughter took the opportunity to live a full and independent life with a partner of her own. However, she later fell into financial difficulties, her relationship broke down and she became pregnant and had a child. At this stage she decided to return home and live with us, and this was the first time we received any help from social services.
At the moment my daughter is fit and well, although she is trying to lose weight and eat a healthier diet. She has a job - she is in supported employment - but she struggles with her relationship with her daughter, who doesn't live with us. To be honest, I think their relationship would break down completely if it wasn't for my help and the support of an advocacy service. We both hope that in the future she will meet a new partner and be able to move into supported living, but we are happy for her to stay at home for the foreseeable future.
We both hope that in the future she will meet a new partner and be able to move into supported living.
My husband died a few months ago, so I am now my daughter's sole carer. I provide her with love, emotional and practical support, including helping her with her finances, cooking, laundry and other household tasks. I also support her with her timekeeping and personal care. Along with her brother and her work colleagues, I am the most important person in her life.
I get no support on a day-to-day basis. My GP knows I'm a carer, but I've never been offered any extra help, and I've never had a carer's assessment. We don't use the short breaks service either - I just take my daughter on holiday with me. I have a small circle of support, which includes my family and friends, and I also use Mencap's Older Carers Support Service.
The whole family have discussed the future together, and I have made a will. However, as I get older I am finding it more tiring to look after both myself and my daughter. Emotionally it has also been much harder since I lost my husband, as I have had to make all the decisions by myself.
I am now fully responsible for my daughter - her welfare, her safety and her emotional stability. She is unable to provide any practical support, but she does provide me with companionship -we share our feelings and talk about the loss of her father.
Advocacy: the process of supporting people to communicate what they want to say.
Short break service: opportunities for people with a learning disability to spend some time away from home.