i have a sister who is 42 who has severe epilepsy and learning disabilities, she recently moved out of home, has lived away before, but this time, she has become aggresive and family ties have been stretched to say the least, she has informed us that staff have told her that we are no longer her family they are, and that they do not like her ringing us and when we try and ring her we get attitude i dont know what to do

Hi Caz.

I follow Mencap on twitter and I couldn't leave this thread with no replies, so I signed up. My advice might be complete pants but I hope something in here could help. 

I'm currently a support worker for Mencap and have been for 4 years. I value the family's input into the care/support we give their loved ones. Some of the things people I support have done in the past I would NEVER of known if the family hadn't come in for a coffee and a chat.

As your sister is 42, could you do a life story for her to take in and talk to the staff, with your sister, about holidays you went on as kids, pets you had, schools she went to, family and friends you both remember, things I might never think to put in, lots of pictures of things? I love things like that, then again I like things like Who Do You Think You Are as you get a good nosey into someone's family, heehee.

Also could setting up a day and time you will ring and have a good chat with your sister every week, or for her to ring you, work? Or possibly even a night that you visit if you're not too far away for a while, not only to see your sister but to get to know the staff.

There's always formal things like a review meeting to bring your concerns up with all the professionals involved in your sister's care. I'm not sure how these things work in other areas of the country.

I'm not sure how much this will help as I feel I've only had good relationships as a support worker with family.

i am a carer working with disabilities also i done all of this before my sister moved in they were aware of her past her likes and dislikes, her behaviour problems, but after she moved in i noticed things like meds were being given over 2 hours late so i made formal complaints, my sister's attitude has become nasty to say the least which is not her she does get grumpy but nothing like this, i have approached the managers where she lives with our concerns and social services i suppose what i am really asking is how much rights does family have over someone with learning disabilities