Hi all im looking for any kind of suggestions to my problem. My daughter is 4 and 1/2, and has globel developmental day. Me and her dad split up two years january, on the first year he only saw her for a few months of the year as i stop his access due to the constant let down. This year he had seen her for aprox 2 months of the year. And by seen i mean every other sun for 3 hours. Every time he doesnt turn up i have to pick the peices up as it is very upsetting to her and her lack of understanding doesnt help the situation. My solicitor said i cant stop his access completly she suggested no telling her about going but i explain you have to keep her in a routine and explain things ie this morning we are getting dressed, have breakfast, going nannas etc, so she is fully prepared for the day, so this option was out of the question. Due to more excuses of him i stopped access to his home and allowed him the option to visit at home as she is still n her rountine at home and has no shocks of going anywhere unannocced . He visited 3 times in 2 months and said he couldnt do home visits any more as his new gf didnt like it. He doesnt attend any appointments what so ever whether its school hospital specialists or even signing classes. We have tried mediation but once again another excuse. I keep a record of his visits or should i say when he doesnt show but solicitor said i have to keep trying. I have asked him to sign her over ie parental responsibilty as she is not benefiting from him being in her life as its just constant let downs. Is there anyway he can lose his parental responsibility??? Please help im fed up of picking up the peices

i am so sadden to her about your situation with you having to pick all the pieces up i know how difficult it can be.
your partner is aware of your daughters need for routine so speak to him again if you can about the need to keep having contact with his daughter and whatever happens not let his beloved daughter down.you really need to talk to him again i know it can be very difficult and endless but insist he keeps to the routine as this affects your daughter greatly and yourself.
as for the parental responsibility i know very like but go into ASK and it covers that issue on the site.
i hope it works out for you and your little girl.
take care joe and family
xxxx

thank you for your reply i have spoken to him about it he doesnt think he causes a problem and says he is there for here. He has always been in denial off her developmental delay and now she is having a statement done he went loopy at the fact he said she isnt special needs. He wont go and talk to anyone about it.

hi i know it can be difficult for you .Do you have family support or a friend every little helps. Also your partner does need to talk to someone a close friend ,parent, family member. Being in denial is a hard obstacle to overcome but leaving you to pick all the pieces up is not equal parenting and does not benefit your daughter he needs to open up his feelings but how many men do Does he refuse to read leaflets information on it If he wont talk to anyone about it you just need to keep talking to him even if he goes loopy . once your daughter is in bed
start communications again let him know again all the facts and listen to him to try and find out why he wont accept this. i wish i could help you more . take care of yourself and your little one.
from joeanne and family
xxx

Dear pinklady,

Welcome to the forum! Thank you for sharing your experiences. You mention that you need your former partner to show some consistency in support for your daughter, and how difficult it has been for him to come to terms with her learning disability. I know you mentioned that you have tried mediation but has your partner tried to get some information specifically for him? There is an organisation called the Fatherhood Institute where he may find some support. Their link is http://www.fatherhoodinstitute.org/index.php?nID=42 

There are a couple of organisations where you could find a little more information about parental responsibility and your rights, http://www.lawandparents.co.uk/parental-responsibility.html and http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/FamilyIssuesAndTheLaw/index.htm?cids=Google_PPC&cre=Parents might provide you with some further information.

I hope that this is helpful.

Best wishes, Lucy 

hi im lauren i have adhd and dyslexia apparntly i have autism but im only 16 so i need to know more so if anyone knows what im talking about please reply asap im in desperate need of help i dont think i can cope anymore

lauren

x

hi pinklady

im going threw wot ur going threw my daughter has motor skills delay that means she behind her dad walked of when my daughter was a wk old then after 3 years when he found out my daughter has specail needs he startit takeing me to court so he can see my daughter it startit of once a wk then twice a wk now he only see my daughter once a mth for 2 days my daughter doseint like going with her dad and she gets upset as her dad doseint bye her things i dont even get a penny of my daughters dad as he doseint work my daughter gose into tempers after seeing her dad when she comes home to me i dont think it fare on my wee girl going threw with this even if its only once a mth i feel it confueses her if u ever fancy a chat im here  tracy

Hi Lauren

Your message hit a raw nerve with me because your feelings are what I fear my son will go through, he is 11 and struggling with what I believe is High functioning autism.

You need not feel despair, talk to your family if you feel you can and try to get someone to help you, there are so many people out there who experience what you are going through. You have done the right thing by contacting the website.

There are people out there who understand, do not give up.