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I have a gorgeous five your old daughter. She was born with Down's Syndrome (translocation). She has some really challenging behaviours!!! She kicks her teacher, slaps her friends and repeats unacceptable words over and over again......... If anyone has any advice on any techniques to help us to manage these behaviours I would love to hear from you.
No specific solution but just to reassure that with time and the right support and advice (from school perhaps) challenging behaviours can be tackled ...my son who is autistic is now 17 and although things do still emerge from time to time ...I would never have dreamed some of the progress he has made in this respect.
Modelling, reinforcing and praising the correct behaviour and focusing on communication skills so that he can verbalise or indicate if he has a problem rather than lashing out has been the key.
Thank you for your words of support, these are much appreciated.
School I think are finding her behaviour even more challenging than we are!!! She goes to a mainstream school and I think the other children find her challenging behaviour amusing, this obviously doesn't help the situation........ What kind of support did you get from your son's school?
My daughters challenging behaviour has esculated so much lately that school said last week 'We don't know what to do with her' Eek! A week of ringing everyone I know I've found out this... If you have a Disability Team in your area they will have a LD Nurse who will be able to help with techniques. Also if your grl has an advisory teacher (SENIAS) she might have some handouts-techniques for school. If you speak to the Senco at school or at your girls annual review ask if it's worth having an IBP (Individual Behaviour Plan) if she doesn't already. Other than that - I'd speak to your Paed or Social Worker who'll make sure you, and school, get help.
I'm still waiting for the actual techniques - but hopefully not long now! : )
I have just participated in a course run at my son's school callled Positive behaviour for special needs. One of the really important points I learnt was ABC.
Every bahaviour has a motive
Try and analyse what tiggers her outbursts and what are the reactions to it and try a figure out what she is trying to communicate.
My son used to do this , I realised it was only around mainstram children so the message he was telling me was that he was struggling to cope with the situation as if he kicked off we went home.
Now I tell him who we are seeing and how long for and if he was feeling uncomforable to come and speak to me Our code word was that he was tired. So we could leave before a problem occurred. Good luck
Have you got intouch with a clinical psychologist at all
they specialise in helping you come up with strategies for managing your childs behaviour
as we all know every child is an individual so what might work for one child won't work for another but if you can get an appointment then they will see your child and help pinpoint you in the right direction
We have a great clinical psychologist and she has done some brilliant talks
here are some of the things she has said
DECIDE WHERE YOU WANT TO START
Prioritise A behaviour for change
- is it a danger to you or the child or others
- does it interfere with the childs ability to learn
- how much stress does it cause and for whom
-how frequent is it , how intense and how long does it last
Making sense of the behaviour
Using the STAR approach
S - Setting
T - Triggers
A - Action
Pinpoint the settings ie levels of noise, crowds, who else is nearby, how structured in the enviroment, what are the expectations of the child, does your child understand the expectations, does your child have the skills to cope
Look for triggers, spot the signs
ie is someone making a demand on your child, doe something unpredictable happen, is something refused
Results - Is your child interested in making something happen, does the behaviour create some sensory or physical result, how do people react to the behaviour, does something stop happening after the behaviour occurs
if you ask yourself some of the questions, ie if you see what trigges the behaviour if you remove it, will it help, ie for my daughter she hates noise and clapping so if that is removed we don't get a behavour issue ( does that make sense )
You really have to try and make sense of the behaviour to try and sort it out
Here are other things that have helped us
Routines - My daughter has a dual diagnosis of DS and ASD so routines are essential to us ( I never used to have a routine ) It helps with preparing her for what is going to happen during the day, we support the routine with pictures, signs and symbols.
Using something she likes to encourage good behaviour ( rewards ) My daughter lives for bubbles, so everytime she does something good, the bubbles are out.
Have they got something they are good at or obsessed with that can be turned around to use to encourage positive behaviour. I know this sounds wierd but blue tac, my child has an obsession with bluetac and she will fiddle with it for ages. Sometimes if she is fiddling with it, it will distract her from the bad behaviour, so even though it annoys the hell out of me, by letting her fiddle with it, it distracts her and also then we can praise her cos she has stoped the bad behaviour ( Not sure if that makes sense or not, I hope so )
Be consistent - we have found that if we are consistent with things, ie if she is naughty she has the sit on the chair no eye contact ( even if we are out, we will find a chair to sit her on ) so she knows that she doesn't sometimes get away with it ( and this follows through with other people that come into contact with your child ) Also she is rewarded consistently for good behaviour too, so it encourages it ( we have shares in bubbles!!!! )
One other point is look after yourself. When I am stressed and full of anxiety somehow she seems to know and behaviour can get worse. If I am calm, the behaviour is much more easy to control.
Its not easy, its not easy to say not to shout and yell at your child but I have found the more I yell the worse it is. The silent treatment or the firm but calm in my voice seems to have more an effect on her
OK I have shared what I can , sorry its so long, remember what works for my daughter might not necessarily work for yours but if you have a look you may find some ideas here that you can try.
I think you have to try lots of things and there is no such thing as a perfect child ( or a perfect parent for that matter ) and even when I think something has worked and then she does it again, I have to stop telling myself that I have failed
You just try the best you can
We have two adopted sons one with DS and non-specific learning difficulties, and we also had a DS foster son. All too often, in my experience, children with mental disabilities are not expected to be behave in an appropriate manner. We expected good behaviour and on the whole got it even from the one who had behavioral problems. We treated them in the same way as our very intelligent birth daughters where politeness and respect for others was concerned.
We had been told by the foster son's social worker that we mustn't mind if he went up to people in the street and hugged them!!!! He was a hulking great sixteen year old when he joined our family, so of course that was totally unacceptable behaviour and he was told in no uncertain terms what would happen if he indulged in it!
To a certain extent we get what we expect with our children, imo!
my 16 yr old grandson with sld has started having outbursts of rage and uncontrollable behavior he has been difficult at his school and they suggested he may need medication. This is very worrying and something we do not want, he is a lovely calm young man most of the time, does any one have any advice of where we can get help and advice. Megan
Hi I'm going for a job as a support worker and one of the questions that always comes up is " How would I deal with someone with a lerning disability with challinging behaviour ". I want to give the correct answer as I really really want this job can you please help thanks Kelly
Thats not an easy question to answer, as their is many types of challenging behaviour. But in general you must stay calm and patient, try to understand the cause of the challenging behaviour but if their was a simple answer then there would be no challenging behaviour, as we would all know what to do. Challenging behaviour is a form of communication so the more you get to know someone and understand them you learn how to avoid the triggers. And of course the company you work for should offer training in how to deal with challenging behaviour. As has been said in an answer above what works for one may not work for another they are all individuals with individual needs and if we work to reach those needs then the challenging behaviour decreases. Good luck with your interview, i have worked with learning disabilities for many years and its great, no two days are the same and its a privelege to work with and support these people
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